Cheese Wiz

Watching Varla Jean Merman in action reminded me that what sex and comedy both have in common is that one's response to them is both spontaneous and completely idiosyncratic. A person is either sexy or s/he isn't. A joke is either funny or it isn't. And no amount of argument will persuade you one way or the other.

I bring this up not just to be pedantic, but as a way of explaining why it's not a knock on Varla Jean Merman that I found most of her show unamusing. The Very Worst of Varla Jean Merman is, in fact, a very clever, inventive and wildly energetic evening of vulgar, campy drag show-inspired comedy. The problem is that, as a middle-aged heterosexual who thinks Groucho Marx was the funniest person who ever lived, I'm just a member of the wrong demographic.

But first, for those of you who have not had the Varla Jean experience, a little background.

Billed as "the illegitimate love child of Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine", Varla Jean Merman is not a real person. Rather, she is a surreal person, sprung full-blown (you should pardon the expression) from the unlined brow of her alter ego, Jeffery Roberson. Indeed, Mr. Robertson inhabits the persona of Varla Jean with such conviction that I will, for the duration of this review, go along with the gag (you should pardon the expression again) and bestow upon Varla Jean the verisimilitude she deserves.

As a character, Varla Jean is Julie Budd crossed with Charles Busch - a deranged, druggie diva who has just stepped off the Bitter Bus loaded with outrageous parodies of Broadway standards ("My Favorite Things" with hip-hop lyrics, anyone?) and sotto voce slams at other singers ("that mic tastes like Liz Callaway"). As a performer, she delivers some of the grossest humor ever heard on the Savoy Room stage with impeccable timing, a remarkably well-controlled falsetto, some very stylish dance moves and a stunning collection of garishly tacky props and costumes (including a Josephine Baker-inspired banana outfit that she accurately describes as "almost as uncomfortable for me as it is for you").

The show sends up a variety of American Songbook standards and standard-issue pop tunes with a mix of live performances, slide shows and videos. "Talk to the Animals", for example, becomes the anatomically correct "Talk to the Genitals" (the only time I've ever heard "ovary" rhymed with "Madame Bovary") while "Dream a Little Dream of Me" turns into "Dream a Little Dream of Cheese" - a hymn to fermented curd that concludes with Ms. Merman singing while inhaling about half a can of an aerosol cheese-like substance. Take that, Señor Wences ! There's even a Christmas segment involving hand and foot bells that was, I have to admit, pretty hilarious; ditto an R-rated parody of tunes from Schoolhouse Rock. "Conjunction Junction", indeed.

The audience response to all this lunacy was decidedly mixed. Among those of us who had not seen Ms. Merman previously - the "Varla Virgins", to use her term - it was hit and miss. Some bits were received with chuckles, some with belly laughs and others with silence. A few Cabaret St. Louis regulars even left early. My own response was around one-thirds amusement and two-thirds ennui.

Ms. Merman's admirers had no such reservations, and there were more than enough of them in attendance to override any diffidence from the rest of us. Happily, Varla Jean is too much of a pro to just play to the fans, so I only occasionally felt like someone who had been invited to the wrong party.

I have noted, in the past, that cabaret is a big tent with room for a wide variety of performance styles. Until I saw The Very Worst of Varla Jean Merman, however, I had no idea that it could also be a Big Top. Thanks to Ms. Varla Jean and her very talented creator, Jeffrey Roberson, for opening my eyes to that possibility. Thanks also to Varla Jean's music director Tom Shaw for joining in the fun without getting in the way of the main attraction.

For more information about Varla Jean Merman's perambulations, check out her web site, varlaonline.com . You can also find many of her videos at youtube.com .

The Very Worst of Varla Jean Merman was a Cabaret St. Louis production. The season concludes, by way of spectacular contrast, with Opera Theatre Cabaret Night on Tuesday, June 16th, at the Kranzberg Center. For more information, visit cabaretstl.org or call 314-534-1111.